Truth, Beauty, Love, and Elisa.

A bit of chunk-a-lunk to start your working week

2009-12-06T19:46:00.002+11:00

I know I'm being a bit mean...but seriously. These people can afford to work full-time on themselves! I just don't understand. They even have enough money to go on a permanent coke-diet :) No excuses! :)

WEll, something is working for Kim Kardashian

2009-12-06T19:38:00.003+11:00

she's claiming it's the Quick Trim pills. In anycase, she's looking relatively buff and lost a lot of her infamous chunk...but TBH, I kinda liked the chunk. She worked it better than anyone I knew.

BEFORE

It seemed like a good idea at the time

2009-12-06T19:22:00.001+11:00

They say white eyeliner gives one that doe-eyed cute innocent look...but ummm...they lied. A D-lister reading about B-listers. Beautiful.

Oh dear

2009-12-06T19:20:00.002+11:00

Um.....bet you MAniston doesn't cry at night about him now...well, knowing her she probably does. WTF is that? Beard-dreads? Ick.

Wow....losers

2009-12-03T20:03:00.001+11:00

Tiger...ummm...couldn't you at least get someone decent?

2009-12-03T19:37:00.005+11:00

So the guy has a beautiful wife Elin and screws around with Ms Jaimee Grubbs, 24, going on meth-45? VOM. What is wrong with men?

In his latest statement, he said: "I have let my family down and I regret those transgressions with all of my heart...I have not been true to my values and the behaviour my family deserves...I am not without faults and I am far short of perfect."

They're also saying she [Elin] bashed him up with golf clubs up prior to the crash, which is why he received his various cuts and bruises...and while I don't condone violence, I have to say she has a wonderful nice sense of irony.

Honestly, Grubbs really is disgusting. I feel like I've caught rather hideous -- just looking at her.

Demi's hips are a little askew....

2009-11-22T20:14:00.001+11:00

...and it's not old age.
Some commentators are calling it the worse photshop ever. Pffft. Thoey ain't seen nothing. In this month's W magazine.

Oh bella

2009-11-21T20:16:00.002+11:00

Dear...if you want to be cool and slouchy and teen-angsty and sour -- PLEASE don't wear a beautiful haute couture dress. It really is killing me inside. *sigh*

Honestly...what is Lady Gaga doing here?

2009-11-19T22:20:00.002+11:00

GF has gone a little too hard on the coke-diet. Shame

Pfftt... Banner LOVE

2009-11-19T22:04:00.004+11:00

OMG. This is hilarious. I see this banner all the time. GOLD. Is the one rule go and visit a photoshop plastic surgeon? mwahahaha.

mwahahha.
this one is just as ridiculous!

Ummm...Kidman's breasts are scaring me

2009-11-15T23:32:00.002+11:00

..and by breasts I mean weird pectorals.
WTF did she do?!?! Nooooo. Even Winehouse's set look better. Although the upside is, I'm sure Keith likes it...as in the pectorals, if you know what I mean.

Well hello there!

2009-11-12T22:38:00.001+11:00

New Sex and City movie like "condensed soup"E

2009-10-29T21:36:00.003+11:00

Errrmm. Condensed soup is VOM. Kristen Davis said in an interview"

She told MTV: "This one is not going to be that long. It's like condensed soup. It's different, and adventurous and rich, and there's music involved." Hmmm...does that mean it will be worse than the first movie? I honestly didn't believe that was possible.

bah.

Wow man...that's deep

2009-10-29T21:32:00.003+11:00

Its apparently a Monroe quote...seriously, girl is mildly delusional...and methinks she may have inked this on herself during a meth-moment.

Well well well...

2009-10-29T21:25:00.002+11:00

She's back....and a few new friends in tow...and by a few, I mean two.

These below are NSFW!

Spot the Difference

2009-10-21T23:07:00.004+11:00

LiLo and Donatella. They definitely have a similar amount of coke and plastic running in their bloodsteam...and are definitely contenders for the title of most beautiful woman in the world. DEFINITELY.

This truly is the stuff of nightmares

2009-10-21T23:06:00.003+11:00

I present to you, Donatella Versace. VOM!

Ouch!

2009-10-21T22:48:00.004+11:00

Young Claudia I thought

a) never really had it and;

b) had lost it in any case.

A few years ago she came out looking like Gwyneth Paltrow on a skeletoresque bad day.

but my goodness has she regrouped for the the latest GQ photoshoot. Hot. Fierce. Hmmm.

I guess an emaciated back is the price to pay...

2009-10-19T22:50:00.005+11:00

for killer pins. sigh.

Winehouse isn't dying...

2009-10-15T22:24:00.001+11:00

she's actually looking mildly peachy. Good for her.

Fat Model Shenanigans

2009-10-15T21:56:00.003+11:00

Well, it's been a fat model week this week. What with Karl spouting off a tirade about fat mums eating chips in front of the tv. Now comes the Ralph Lauren contrversy over their firing of model Filippa Hamilton for being too fat -- this comes right after her photoshop problems -- whereby she came across an artdiretor/ana-freak.

The image in in question is thus:

Ralph Lauren are saying that it was a freak mistake. WhatEVS. Their latest ads are all bizarre. This one outside the store in Sydney made me do a doubletake a few months ago...

Honestly..

2009-10-06T22:45:00.003+11:00

who manages to look this cool while schlepping around getting the shopping. Angie and her supermodel brood. [predicting Zahara to become a supermodel....for sure]

She may be a bit of a homewrecker...

2009-10-06T22:42:00.001+11:00

...but she's got great pins.

Lindsay looks incredible at Paris Fashion Week

2009-10-05T23:10:00.003+11:00

and by incredible I mean Amy-Winehouse-VOM....and by fashion I mean pieces of opshop cloth thrown on poor unsuspecting models.

Apparently Lindsay was the creative "advisor" on this collection....and by advisor I mean she picked the cocaine dealer for the after-party. [although...tbh lilo looks like she's on meth or something]

Hot Hot Hot Hot MESS

2009-10-05T23:09:00.002+11:00

Goodness me, I know she got roughed up...but surely she didn't lose that many brain cells in the process?
Rihanna is at Paris Fashion week.

Umm...where's the skit part in this?

2009-10-05T22:50:00.002+11:00

Honestly...I thought skits were supposed to mildly funny and have some kind of script. Obviously I'm old fashioned and not in with the kids... hmmm

WOAH....WTF happened to KFed?

2009-09-27T23:03:00.003+10:00

O.k. so admittedly I haven't been following KFed's live..umm...at all since he split with Britney...but serious...the man is chunk-a-lunk. This isn't just a diet of Cheetoh's. This has be be a diet of Cheetoh's and lard...with sugar on top.

How I remember him:

What he looks like now:

BFH!

2009-09-27T22:31:00.002+10:00

Oh...Jenny's still crying over Brad. WHATEVS. Boo F-n Hoo!

Jennifer Aniston broke down after a love scene with Gerard Butler on the set of The Bounty. She reportedly told her assistant: "I need a moment. This scene reminds me of Brad and me." -- fleeing to her trailer in tears.

I know -- this probably isn't true...but GF needs to move on in any case :)

Good times.

Even Obama gets involved

2009-09-16T13:23:00.001+10:00

his country is going down the gurgler in trillion after trillion dollars of debts...but it's nice to know he's still concerned about Taylor.

Woah...Angie has....changed over time

2009-09-15T19:03:00.002+10:00

to say the least. I almost didn't recognise her during some of the clips, especially one of the blonde clips. Googly eyes!

Ha! It's started.

2009-09-15T19:02:00.002+10:00

Hand up if you think the VMAs were a setup to reinject some interest to them...me too.

Ooooh Kayne Kontroversy.

2009-09-14T18:28:00.001+10:00

NARCISSIST. SOCIOPATH. HILARIOUS.

FAIL

2009-09-09T22:14:00.002+10:00

Hair and bling do not a woman make...good ol' Caster Semenya. [person in the gender/racing controversy]

WDYT?

Manwhore Clooney gets a new squeeze

2009-09-09T22:00:00.002+10:00

At the Venice film festival. I don't really care who the latest horseface is TBH..but that dress.is.magic.

Well...this is nice addition to Awkward Family Photos blog

2009-09-09T21:57:00.002+10:00

There are all sorts of jaw things happening here that would make even Keira Knightley blush. Demi's going to have to get a LOT older before Rumer overtakes her in the attractiveness stakes though...and by a LOT I mean ummm...never.

What's going on with Lindsay Lohan?

2009-09-08T22:47:00.003+10:00

Honestly...I go away for a few weeks and all of a sudden she's looking like a coked-up trashbag whore...oh....right....

Hot mess action

2009-09-08T22:45:00.000+10:00

Lady Gaga. hmm.

Kim Cattral still has it

2009-09-08T22:41:00.001+10:00

over 50! Hotness. Jealous.

Ummmm....cover FAIL?

2009-09-03T22:15:00.001+10:00

Honestly...Sean Lennon looks dead...FAIL. For the french mag Purple.

Kanye's squeeze

2009-09-03T21:50:00.004+10:00

I know she's vom and gross -- but I like her anyway...horrible Paris Hilton/MManson contacts and all. She's kind of like a Leona Lewis....but interesting.

DJ AM has died. RIP :(

2009-08-30T16:50:00.001+10:00

DJ AM - the celebrity disc jockey known for dating starlets and surviving a horrific plane crash - has been found dead in an apparent drugs overdose in New York.

Cops found prescription drug bottles inside DJ AM's residence at 210 Lafayette Street after the 36-year-old's lifeless body spotted face-down in his bed at around 5:23 pm by a friend, who was concerned he hadn't heard from the performer in several days, sources said.

Prescription drugs and a crack pipe were found at the scene. Bottles of pills were found in both the bedroom and the kitchen.

What happened to Mena Suvari?

2009-08-29T21:30:00.002+10:00

She was this beautiful frail little thing in ABeauty -- WTF? Weight-lifting, steroids much?

Where did she go?

Sorry guys for the lack of posting -- from the Paris office

2009-07-05T18:03:00.001+10:00

Hi dears,
Apologies for the lack of posting, but I'm on vacation in Paris -- and will recommence when I get back in a few weeks.
love,
elisita.

What every woman and gay man wants

2009-06-13T00:02:00.003+10:00

Armani is a smart man. Beckham manages to look both hetero-sexual hot and gay-preppy at the same time. The sailor's rope just a nice added touch. *sigh* Just don't talk please though.

Would you pay $1m on this?

2009-06-12T23:58:00.003+10:00

Brad Pitt spend just under $1m for Neo Rauch's Etappe in Switzerland. Gosh -- I can give him some pretty coloured hoses as well :)

Kristen Stewart Winehouse?

2009-06-12T23:56:00.001+10:00

Just needs ballerina flats and a crackpipe. Nice [yes, its for a movie]

Jacko's kids are real...and beautiful

2009-06-12T23:52:00.002+10:00

I know... a few days old. Forgive me...law exams :)

Can we say...not his?

Hilarity

2009-06-02T22:13:00.001+10:00

thanks dlisted.com :)

Cocaine in Redbull....hmmm

2009-05-31T17:04:00.003+10:00

Austria's health ministry says traces of cocaine have been found in samples of Red Bull drinks. Sample tests showed around 0.4micrograms per litre.

How on earth did that happen? Was Lindsay Lohan visiting the factories at some point? Elisita is predicting sales to soar.

Lady Gaga is an attention whore

2009-05-28T23:03:00.001+10:00

Girlfriend gets narky...and odd. Can we say...drug-withdrawls?

Somethings just should never be photographed

2009-05-28T22:58:00.003+10:00

...a little part of my soul just died...

How embrarassment! FAIL

2009-05-21T22:09:00.005+10:00

I once did this with a pair of shoes actually. It was the one where you could customise the writing on it and instead of Holden Caulfield -- I put Holden Caufield. My brother thought I was the LAMEST person ever. This though..it's pretty goddamn embarassing.

Hayden is the latest celebrity on the "lets put deep and meaningful latin/italian writing on my body" -- a la Angelina and Lindsay Lohan -- but she spelt the damn thing wrong. She's written "vivere senza rimipianti" -- but the actual thing should say "rimpianti". Ughhh...embarassing.

I guess the plus side is that she can start putting the saying into practice ["living without regret"]

Always amazing what a good dose of photoshop can do

2009-05-21T22:04:00.003+10:00

No pizzaface, and no mashface. Just nice, allAmerican, clean and blonde. I know..where is Cameron Diaz in all this?

WTF did Kim Kardashian Lopez do to her face?

2009-05-16T11:28:00.002+10:00

Umm...the JLo mash-face look doesn't look good on JLo -- what makes KK think that it would be any different for her. ugh.

Ridiculous...but I love it

2009-05-16T11:26:00.001+10:00

I have to face it. I love her.

Ummm.does this disturb anyone?

2009-05-14T21:00:00.005+10:00

Ummm...LiLo's younger sister Ali is starting to look more and more like SamRo. errrm. eek.

Ali Lohan VS

SamRo

Oh boo f-kn hoo!

2009-05-13T22:04:00.003+10:00

Oh my, just as Gwyneth Paltrow finally shuts up and puts most of her effort in the delirously irrelevant Goop newletter, keeping out of interviews and keeping Elisita sane -- when out pops another "oh woe is me". This time in the form of std haven, Angelina wannabe Megan Fox.

In a recent interview qith Esquire, she goes on about how she's bisexual. Yeah whatevs -- go back to 1990 and see if someone cares. Then the 22year old [ha!] says:

“But I’m also a hypocrite: I would never date a girl who was bisexual, because that means they also sleep with men, and men are so dirty that I’d never want to sleep with a girl who had slept with a man.”

The she goes on a BFH rant about being too beautiful...excuse me while I get my bucket...

“It p*sses me when people f**king complain that I’m too beautiful to get this part,” she said. “That’s bulls**t. You wouldn’t be working if you weren’t attractive... if I weren’t attractive I wouldn’t be working at all.”

Ummm...can one say..delusional? Fox should set up her own rival Goop zine called Herpes and just go TF away.

This is what happens when you trust Lindsay Lohan

2009-05-13T21:54:00.002+10:00

...when bad tans happen to good? people. ugh...Rachel Hunter should have just stayed...in the bath scrubbing herself with a sander for a few more hours.

What happened to Miss Independent

2009-05-13T21:25:00.003+10:00

woah....everyone is going on about Jessica Simpson -- but ahhh. WTF is going on here? KClarkson needs to take drastic measures and go on the infamous white powder diet for a few months...in Elisita's humble opinion.

Girlfriend needs to remember these times:

The Royal Polo set

2009-05-11T22:28:00.003+10:00

just 'cos. Elisita secretly wants to join. There...I said it :)
I'll take the brother with the full head of hair though please...

Speaking of awkward

2009-05-11T22:22:00.004+10:00

how awkward are these 'couples' at the White House Corresspondent's Party.

You've got Bon Jovi and ummmm.

Cokey and Coke-ier

and Cruise with his blow up giant doll.

Now all we need is Obama to turn scientologist and we'll really have hit the jackp0t :)

Hilarious! Awkward family photos

2009-05-11T21:38:00.002+10:00

this made me laugh! had to share! Classic!

http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/

Am I the only one with a filthy mind?

2009-05-11T21:28:00.001+10:00

When I saw Richie's baby father I was like woah!...and then like...oh...right
Please don't tell me I'm the only one. :) mwahahahaha

Ummm..WTF

2009-05-07T23:20:00.003+10:00

WTF is going on here? being DEAD serious? weird alien brides, cute kids, strange unzipping of dresses? umm..I'm really kind of confused...and need to go sit in a dark corner for a while and rock myself back to normality. It makes Mulholland Drive seem like a Spot the Dog story.

FYI, it's nicole kidman's new schweppes commercial.

Jessica tries to channel Jackie O, Marilyn, and Grace Kelly

2009-05-06T23:22:00.002+10:00

but ahh....FAIL. It's not as bad as most of her shoots...but still a fail.

Met Costume Gala

2009-05-06T23:09:00.005+10:00

Brought to you by the perfection that is the Kate Moss goddess.

One of the Olsen gnomes doing her best to channel Donna Karan/90s gucci

The absolute perfection that is Gisele

The "when did she become a man exactly?" brooke shields

Hurley who once had it...and has now lost it...and seems desperate to get it back

Err...unsupported Kirsten Dunst

and various other fodder

Demi joins the botoxia club

2009-05-06T23:06:00.000+10:00

hmm.

Kate is Perfection...still

2009-05-04T23:29:00.001+10:00

At a new vanity fair shoot.

Can we PLEASE stop bastardising poor Audrey.

2009-04-29T23:11:00.003+10:00

Ick Ick Ick. I really can't stand it. I mean come on...Eva?!? VOM!
Elisita can't handle it. Blegh.

Relationship Downgrade

2009-04-29T22:50:00.002+10:00

Hmmm. Team Robyn. :)
Mel out with his new piece, the pregnant? Oksana.

When makeup doesn't just go wrong...

2009-04-29T22:47:00.000+10:00

it goes Aguilera-tranny

Lindsay continues the boring self-created downward attention spiral

2009-04-29T22:44:00.002+10:00

She obviously saw that it was going great-guns for Lady Gaga...and being the incredibly original person that she is...she obviously decided to hop onto the sans coulottes bandwagon. Cool.

Hair Downgrade

2009-04-27T22:01:00.002+10:00

hmmm. Kim normally looks like a goddess. Now she's looking more like a beatdown poor man's Beyonce.

Kim at her peak.

Gimme an A -T-T-E-N-T-I-O-N Gimme a W-H-O-R-E

2009-04-27T21:54:00.003+10:00

Ugh. Lindsay just needs to cut the sulking, eat little and stop prancing about trying to get people to feel sorry for her. ugh. as my good friend Tammi would say Boo F**king Hoo.

Go Sharon Stone.

2009-04-26T22:45:00.003+10:00

She might be a GMILF -- but looking hot nonetheless. GF is in her fiddies.

Pretty people trying to get publicity at a Chloe party :)

2009-04-26T22:25:00.003+10:00

REcession?!? What Depression?!?

Leighton Meester

one of my old favs: Chloe Sevigny

Amber Valleta

my perennial softspot: KBos

Speidi got married

2009-04-26T22:22:00.001+10:00

I know right? Who cares.

So...this IS surprising

2009-04-26T22:08:00.001+10:00

Lady Gaga actually has some talent. I've always had a soft spot for her, but it's growing a little more.

No Doubt are back

2009-04-22T23:10:00.001+10:00

Oh man I'm so old! I grew up on these guys!!! Whole article and pictures here

Someone save this child!I

2009-04-22T23:02:00.003+10:00

I don't know who this woman is, I think she might be one of those "real housewives" from the US reality show. But seriously...this is too much reality for me in one hit.
Evil Kinevil wouldn't even be able to traverse over the length between her breasts...Ugh ugh ugh.

Ughh...is this a CGI of Russell Crowe?

2009-04-21T22:10:00.001+10:00

A few months ago the guy was chunk-a-lunk. Now for Robin Hood he's not looking so gross. What gives Russell?

Every man and his boring dog at Coachella

2009-04-21T21:57:00.003+10:00

At least one good person was there -- my baby!

What's happened to AMAZON?

2009-04-14T22:52:00.002+10:00

AMAZON is facing a massive backlash from customers after it was reported that books with gay and lesbian themes were being buried from view.

After the news hit Twitter, more than 100,000 messages with the tag "amazonfail" were posted in 48 hours. Amazon has since moved into damage control, blaming a computer glitch for the change.

Three of the top 5 books listed for the search result for "homosexuality" on Amazon over the weekend were 'homosexuality prevention' books. One called A Parent's Guide To Preventing Homosexuality.

Another one being Can Homosexuality Be Healed? promised that "homosexuals who want to change" could do so through Christian prayer and a transformation from Jesus.

Good one Amazon. Let's promote some eugenics next time? Insanity.
Way to go TWITTER, btw.

Errm. Please don't do that anymore

2009-04-14T22:34:00.001+10:00

Poor Lisa Rinna has totally ruined her natural lip shape...why?!?! ugh

The GFC takes another victim

2009-04-14T22:17:00.002+10:00

Poor guy. Couldn't handle the malinvestment talk.

Lindsay -- is this supposed to be...funny?

2009-04-14T22:14:00.003+10:00

My dear. Get some sleep and quit the coke! You look 45! [and she's only 22...allegedly]

Lindsay Lohan's eHarmony Profile from Lindsay Lohan

Lovely Dahl wishes you a HAPPY EASTER BREAK!

2009-04-10T16:47:00.001+10:00

back in Vogue. LOVE her.

Ughh...can you say - most cringe interview ever?

2009-04-10T16:45:00.001+10:00

Billy Bob...being his usual annoying self.

FINALLY!

2009-04-10T16:32:00.002+10:00

LiLo gets her hair did...her old feral-do was making me feel sick every time I saw it before.

During the SAMRO period. ugh

Anyone else seen this ad? Sydney siders only.

2009-04-08T00:23:00.002+10:00

God. I'm seeing this Napoleon ad around Sydney everywhere? I thought it was for the Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras but it's not. It's a woman...a model..who just happens to look like a dude...and it's following me around Syndey...and (s)he's freaking me out.
You should see it in large billboards. Eek.

Hmm. Maybe there IS a case for getting bought and lobotomised by Tom Cruise afterall

2009-04-08T00:15:00.001+10:00

After all is said and done...there WAS an improvement. Well...Kinda Sorta.

Nicole and Keith on the rocks?

2009-04-08T00:11:00.002+10:00

Does this remind anyone of anything? Let's hope I'm wrong.

This was the last premiere that Nicole and Tom attended [below], the one for Eyes Wide Shut. I think they had already split up by this point. Hmm.

Anna Faris tries to do a Liz Hurley. Errm. FAIL

2009-04-08T00:05:00.002+10:00

Ugh. I don't know how this woman got famous. I always think of her as a beat up, ugly version of Britney Spears...and I DON'T think Britney is pretty.
Anyway -- girlfriend is obviously trying to go for the poor man's version of the Versace/Hurley effect -- but is missing a crucial element...Liz's drop-deap gorgeous face, model figure, and boyfriend.

FAIL.

The original...and the best.

WTF?

2009-04-05T19:29:00.003+10:00

My goodness this cover needs help. What's with the gross visible lip liner? Hello - Joan Collins on crack? Well...now that you mention it...

Britney freaks out in Pittsburgh over the weekend

2009-04-05T19:17:00.003+10:00

Apparently the lifting platform she got on was unstable. Poor love, looks like she almost died of fright. Check out after the 1.30mark.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vaJCdjsHmkA

Iowa legalised gay marriage

2009-04-04T20:03:00.001+11:00

Iowa -- who would have thought? Great news!

Iowa became the third state in the country and the first from the rural heartland to legalize same-sex marriage when its Supreme Court yesterday unanimously struck down the state's decade-long ban.

The colours of the world

2009-04-02T23:25:00.003+11:00

Redefining the colour spectrum.

Being the sexiest couple in the world

2009-04-01T00:59:00.002+11:00

*sigh*. I want to be gwen...or have gav.

Paris wasn't always this gross....surely?

2009-04-01T00:53:00.004+11:00

I've never been much of a PHilton fan...but she wasn't this gross when she was younger right? I mean this is all geriatric-horrendous. This is like some weird Jackie O on crack, cut with Joan Collins on budget, snorted with a bankrupt skanky Lady Astor. UGH.

I swear, her peak was at the movie awards in 2003.