Oscars Low Down

The only winner I really cared about was Helen Mirren. At the event, let's see. We had the usual good in

Cate Blanchett



Liv Tyler


Newly skinny and single Reese



The very pleasant surprises in:

Poster Child for Scientology Mrs Katie Cruise



The I-don't-care-what-you-wear-or-what-you-look-like-I'll-always -love-you in Kate Winslet

The I've-got-a-horrifically-huge-bow-on-the-front-of-my dress-but-maybe-of-I-smile-and-cover-it-up-Anna-Wintour-won't-devour-me


The I've-been-dumped-but-goddamn-it, I'm-going-to-make-use-of-my-wedding-dress-anyway Cameron Diaz


Got Drugs? Natalie Portman


The I'm-a-real-supermodel-so-I-never-get-that-post-pregnancy-fat-look Linda Evangelista


The I'm-only-getting-away-with-this-dress-because-I'm-tall-thin-botoxed-and blonde.


The I'm-relatively-young-but-through-incredible-skill-and-perseverance-I-manage-to-look-old-dumpy-and-dowdy-all-at-one-time Kiki Dunst