This is how I like my Jordan

...not dissimilar to how I like my Maniston. Greasy, attention-seeking, manish, frightening, whorish, and boring.

This woman is 29?

Yeah...and by 29 I really mean 59...and by 59 I mean a photoshopped 70 year old in a bad porn movie.
Jordan does a shoot for O.K Magazine.

Jordan has a new perfume out

How exciting. This has totally made my day. It's a beautiful blend of silicone, orange tan, with a touch of exotic aromas...and by exotic I mean the "exotic dancing" kind. It's guaranteed to make you pick up homosexual male Australian 'singers'.

The voice of an ANGEL

Jordan sends shivers down my spine. Absolutely sublime stuff.

Bunny Andre!!!

OMG I'm so touched I could cry. Jordan and Peter Andre finally got around to naming their daughter...and what a beautiful they've chosen --> Bunny. You have to admit, that's just pure elegance. Gwhineth's Apple and Moses can eat their hearts out really...Bunny Andre is now on the scene.

Personally I think it's so prudent for parents nowadays to give their kids names that are easily transferrable onto the hardcore porn sex industry.

Baby Momma Trifecta

Church, Jordan and Hayek.
Only the Klum has managed to make it look good...only the Klum...and Jordan of course.