Vivica A Fox is falling apart...from the inside...

There's nothing like a bit of capsular contraction to really turn you on...seriously...ugh.

Oh...you wanted to see the face/breast ensemble in its totality?

and no...unfortunately it's not a one-off trick of the light...

(credit)

Wednesday Night Is Couples Night

So...maybe I don't have a heart made of cinders?

We've got the long-termers...

...and the ones that break up every few days...but in the end can never find anyone to fulfil their weekly skin/bone quotient.

(credit and credit)

We've seen it all before...

...but this is the stuff of nightmares...
<-- Let's hope it's just a Photoshop thing, as opposed to a new 'alien' re-invention.

(credit)

Tyra Banks loves her plastic...hair.

I was never able to figure out HOW this woman ever made it into the Top highest paid supermodels of all time...honestly...there is nothing super about being able to see the joins of your hairweave...give me a bodgy liposuction anyday or strangle nipples anyday...

take a closer look...

(credit)

Pammy's All Taped Up

I'm sure if I was cleverer, I could someone tie in Pammy's sex tapes with her breast tape...but this post is already scraping the bottom of the barrel as it is...

After Pamela's unfortunate nip slip a few days ago...she's got it all down pat...which I believe shows more brain activity than Tara Reid has ever managed...ever.

(credit)

Britney's Knocked Up...Again

Oh Britney...seriously, I barely made it through your last situation....I really don't think I can deal with you again. Star Magazine reckons she said:

"I'm pregnant!" revealed the 24 year-old pop star to
another woman in the spa at Maui's Four Seasons Hotel...

Excuse my while I go and experience my own version of morning sickness.

(credit)

Keira has reached a new level of talent

The worst thing is that this 'performance' shows more talent than all her acting attempts.

Speaking of Keira...here's some vintage Keira...and I say.."hullo (bloody awful) nose job"...

The Oscars Update

Best picture Winner: Crash (wtf?!? should have been Brokeback Mountain)
Best director Winner: Ang Lee - Brokeback Mountain
Best actor Winner: Philip Seymour Hoffman (should have been Joaquin or Heath)
Best actress Winner: Reese Witherspoon
Best supporting actor Winner: George Clooney - Syriana
Best supporting actress Winner: Rachel Weisz (should have been Michelle Williams)

When is this show gonna get axed? It snores everyone to tears...just like.every.other.year, we had the girls that looked good:

...yes I know...it pains me to say it, even Keira Poutly scrubbed up.

...along with the couples that are now free to break up...

...mixed in with the dresses that truly scared me.

no...I won't traumatise your week with her face

...As well as the non-moving faces that truly frightened me...

(credit)

Jude Law uses up all his points

The initial relationship was a boon, the nannygate-affair the celebrity vehicle of a lifetime...now that that's all over...she's managed to snag herself a Pepe Jeans ad campaign and has even given Jude back his dogs. For a 15-minute tryhard...she's clawing mighty hard. I'm saying the next move should be a heroin shootup video...sex-videos are so passe'.

(credit)

Li-Lo tries her best to get a Pete Doherty in her life

Li-Lo sweetheart...no matter WHAT you do...HOW thin you get...HOW many pictures are taken of you with coke present...you're just never.going.to.be.Kate.Moss.

(credit)

Plastic Surgery WANTS YOU!!!

Looking weird is one thing...paying for the service is another...

(seriously...you gotta enlarge this one...trauma-central)

(credit)

Right....

Isn't Heidi's eating-acting of a high calibre??...I'm giving her Keira Knightly-esque acting status. I think I could manage a job in the McDonalds Marketing Team...."Let's get rid of the creepy clown...and instead get one of the thinnest women of our population to promote obesity...Yeah!..that'll boost sales...fo' shizza"

(credit)

Mrs Knowles needs to get together with Joe Simpson

What makes Beyonce's mother think that she needs to be present in every shot of this ad campaign??? Joe Simpson and Mrs Knowles have obviously both graduated with honours from the "Let's Sell My Girl Out, and Become Famously Creepy" - Academy.

(credit)

LiLo Reid

Looks like she's been reading this blog for tips on how to secure her own talk show...my goodness...does this girl have personality.

(credit)

Down and Out C-Listers Flock Together

Charmed and 98 Degrees makes one powerful combination...my head reels just thinking about this potential power couple.

(credit)

Charlotte Church gets her own chatshow

Looks like it doesn't take much to get your own talkshow in the UK...a pair of breasts and some dicey sexual history seems to be just fine in terms of selection criteria... Harlot Church apparently has a "great personality" and is getting a Friday night slot . I didn't realise giving random blowjobs to TV station executives constituted as "personality"...but hey, I'm always open to new ideas.

Definitely more real than the TomKat prosthesis

...well...at least Indian Idol judge? Will Smith is feelin' the prosthetic love...

(credit)

Posh Spice is definitely headed for the big time

You know you've really made it within the C-Grade celebrity status when you have to do the purple-afro fashion shot.

(credit)

George Michael is old and pathetic

As we all know, George Michael was found slumped, asleep in his motorised wheelwhair car a few days ago. Turns out *omg* there was marijuana and a couple of musty sex toys in the boot as well. Wow...well, that totally blows my mind. If that wasn't amazing enough...now we've got his bingo friends on the bandwagon urging him to give up pot!
"We think he needs to take a long hard look at his cannabis use and recognise it's doing him more harm than good."
I'm guessing George thinks he's going to get a career boost a la Kate Moss from his *exciting* marijuana posession...but my advice to Georgy is to just give up the whole charade and check into a retirement home where he can sleep through his own singles to his heart's content.

Reese Silverspoon

Reese Witherspoon...at $29m for her new movie "Our Family Trouble" is the highest paid female actress of all time, deftly kicking Julia Roberts towards the poverty line. For a girl who hasn't done a really great film since "Freeway" in 96, that's not too bad. In light of this new information though, I'm giving the Ryan and Reese unit 6 more months to live.