Merry Christmas Darlings!

Hey sweethearts,
Thanks for an awesome year! I wouldn't be doing this (almost) everyday if it weren't for all your snappy and funny comments. Have a fantastic Christmas! I'm out of town for a few days visiting relatives. I'll probably post in before the New Year with a few highlights of all the 2006 lowlifes.

love love love,
elisa

p.s. I'm leaving you with the tense, awkward, creepy heartwarming, beautiful, loving XMAS photoshoot with Dakota Fanning and Julia Roberts.

...DUI anyone?

and he wonders why he was dumped from the Bond franchise? Agent 00Zzzzz.

Louis Vuitton gets onto the alien bandwagon.

...yes she's a little odd looking, but she's grown on me, and it works....and there is no news. :(

Tom Cruise is a brilliant at casting

...he's lined up Victoria Beckham to play some alien bride in the new Scientology movie The Thetan he's bankrolling. I have a gut feeling that this movie is going to be beyond awesome. I'm equally sure Katie's snagged the lobotomised zombie role.

Marilyn Monroe can eat her heart out

...MKOlsen is the new blonde bomb hell in town. I'm not sure exactly what she was going for...perhaps a Marilyn Monroe if-she-were-a-coke-addict-and-alive-today look?

Yup...I'm with the guy on the left

...it's Britney, who else?

Ahh...fugly has a new name!

...it's "recognisable". Maniston put her name forward for the show 24 and was subsequently snubbed by the producers. The executive producer stated she was "too recongnisable" to be placed in the show. Hmm..just like Kimberley Stewart and Tori Spelling would probably have been, too recognisable as well. I like it.

J-Co? No Elisa, stop.

The eyebrows are still a little nuts, and it looks like it was taken in the 1980s...but truth is, I'm feeling this J-Co cover. Somehow, it works.

Soft. Spot.

Out of town for a few days

Hey sweets,
I'm out of town for a few days, but I'm leaving you in good hands with Rachel "face of death" Zoe. This picture looks photoshopped, sad thing is, it's not.

Shiloh is ridiculously cute

Personally, I was always of the opinion that goodlooking parents generally meant quite average-looking children, but I see now that at least in this instance, I'm very, very wrong.
In other words...got.no.news :)

Sienna Paltrow

Harpers and their photoshop team make Sienna Miller look like a good-looking version of Gwhineth Paltrow...not a bad effort.

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DUI is a publicity ticket

For being all zombie and vicodin-ed out...it's not a bad mug shot. I guess now that she's put on a few pounds, the media wasn't really as interested and she need something really Gibson-esque to try to turn things around.

SAVE Dakota!

Honestly, we've got the scariness below...but get this...her next film features the 12 year old getting raped. wtf? Are her parents just asking for the poor girl to Britney-out at the ripe old age of 13? I'm predicting a quick descent into coke and crack. I think we shouls start a pre-emptive SAVE DAKOTA campagin.

Dakota Fanning enters Marc Jacobs' world

I don't know about you guys...but I don't want little girls selling me clothes. This new kiddie trend is so wrong.

Tinkerbell 2.0?

I think Paris is in serious need of an upgrade as well.

She still looks great

She may be doing all the typical tired publicity whore must-dos..new frangrance line included, but the woman just gave birth 7months ago, and although she's singing so terribly, I still can't help but love her.

An exchange, Brain Cells for Legs?

There's a lot (not) to be said about Victoria Beckham...but at the end of the day, I'll be fair, the woman's got awesome pins.

Cate Blanchett in Sydney

Noone....and I mean noone could get away with this cream mess. Cate somehow make it looks beautiful and elegant.

Kelly Preston starts the recruiting season

...nothing like such inspirational images to make you want to just jump out and join the Scientology army.

Vote for Morrissey

Not a hell of a lot going on in the world today. Just a reminder that if you love Morrissey, to make sure you vote for him for living icon. Not that he'd care...but still.

Inspirational photo of the day

She may be nuts and have the personality of a really, really fun deactivated robot....but you've got to hand it to her, noone...noone does the lobotomy-zombie look quite like Victoria Beckham.

Nick, you're making it too easy

Umm...I know my readers...and I know you know what I'm thinking :)

Jenna Wildenstein?

What the hell is wrong with her? You'd think a professional porn star would make sure her breasts aren't hitting her knees. Girlfriend needs to lay off the botox and the facelifts. This is her once upon a time.

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Uma's still my girl

I know Uma is an aquired taste, that many never acquired...but in my books, she's still beautiful. Now, if her acting talent was half as good as her looks, we'd really get somewhere...but hey, at least she's got one thing covered, unlike the rest of Hollywood.

I've finally found My Idol

I cried...and I just kept on crying.

Bit of a gaff

Listen, I'm not the biggest fan of Katie Holmes, but you think someone would have told her to take off the clear gaffer tape from the top of the dress...unless of course the whole thing is some Scientology symbol to represent being kidnapped, gagged, and eventually suffocated.

These girls are like...totally innovative

Glasses = smart lookin'. Why didn't I think of that. This new bright young things are seriously turning my world upside down. Surely though, with all those smarts, things like underwear should not be forgotten?

I need some space to grieve

I'll admit that I don't get teary at much....but when I found the news...I had to sit by myself in a dark room for a while. I know you won't believe it...but the perfection that was the Anderson/Rock partnership does appear to have endeth.

About a month too late

I'm not exactly sure when it all started getting scary for Ashlee Simpson...but it's definitely scary right now. It's kind of like one of the experiments that looks fine at first....and then slowly but surely starts to go wrong...personally, I'm scared her head might topple off, which I guess wouldn't be the worst thing.

Minnie Minnie Minnie

Ordinarily, I don't mind Minnie Driver, she appears to have a life outside her rather brief Hollywood career...but seriously...is she just begging for me to notice her?

Make it stop

Paris Hilton's and Britney's PR people have gotten together to come up with a visual assault that seeks to eclipse all others before it. This is a train wreck...a train wreck somewhere remote where rescue efforts haven't yet been able to reach the location and bodies are starting to seriously decompose...so much so that even the vulchers vultures are steering clear. I present to you Parney...or Brilton. Whatever.

Mariah never lets me down...

ever...

...and another Olsen makes 3

Well...

looks like the Spederline years will be looked on as her golden age...she makes her new BFF look...well, put together.

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Oh dear...I see a bleak outlook ahead

O.k....I bag out people all the time so fair's fair. Here's my turn.
Let's see.
Charity Event. Check
Holding alcoholic drink. Check
Looking like a wax figurine. Check
Photo being sold by a random media agency. Check

Oh my goodness...I have just clamboured up to the world of wannabe D-grade celebutante? I seriously need to lie down.

Can you sense the excitement coursing through my veins?

I present to you Mr and Mrs Cruise...but O.k...here's the thing. What is the point of joining a stark-raving mad cult and not going crazy at the wedding?!? I wanted space suits or something. This.is.snore.



This photo is probably more indicative of the way the bride was feeling. I'm guessing the sedatives wore off for a few minutes.



I never thought I'd say this, but I'm actually happy Posh Spice turned up...at least someone was getting into the spirit of the ridiculous.

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Wow...she beats me again

Everyime I think I've seen the worst of Diaz...she sets the bar higher and higher.
Word on the street however is that she's finally gotten that nose done.

TomKat Get Hitched

They're finally married...in Rome.
I believe these pictures were taken the day before the wedding, or just after. I don't know...I'm confused. The guest list was full of dying celebrities and Scientology peeps. I'm not sure if Holmbies parents showed up. Girlfriend is trying to channel Princess Mary.




A snippet of the fabulous guest list...I guess she got the "something old" in the form of a skeleton...how crafty of those Scientologists!


While Posh and Becks try out the new Swedish ski lodge porn look. Hot.