Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Vaughn basically admits that he's old and desperate

These two are sad degenerates...imagine having the gall to even try to take away angel Shiloh Pitt's halo of publicity!!! Since their movie has been a huge flop, Maniston and Vaughn have come out saying that they're a couple and zzzzzzz.

She's blabbering on about how he's "the cream of the crop"...while he's basically admitting that he wouldn't have touched her with a 10ft pole were he younger and more attractive.
"When you're younger, you have your priorities in a different place, but as you get older, I think having someone who makes you laugh and who you have a friendship and a trust with becomes important."

This couple creeps me out.

Babies R Us

Sorry for the delay. I was off in Namibia helping Brad cut Angelina/Shiloh's umbilical cord...then I had to go and help out with the delivery of Kingston James McGregor Rossdale...this was all o.k. Where I really ran into problems was when I went off to try and discover the existence of baby Suri at Cannes...and instead got my soul taken away by Faye Dunaway.

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This is a face of a woman who will never have sex with her husband

Prince Albert of Monaco is engaged...or something. I don't know who he thinks he's fooling. Kids out of wedlock or no, the man is a gayer version of Gay Al than Star Jones' Gay Al... If Charlene is into heterosexual sex, she's probably got much better chance of achieving it with Gay Al's sister, Stephanie.
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Thursday, May 25, 2006

Katie's hella slow

Someone in the Cruise Compound must have forgotten to top-up Holmbie's catatonic drugs...because the girl has run away to Ohio. The reports say that she ran away with Suri...but we all know that this baby doesn't least not in this world.

I guess with these kind of reports you really have to believe someone you trust. Someone objective. Someone sane. That's why I personally believe Tom when he refutes the claim through his publicist saying:
"Those reports are not true. Ms Holmes is doing wonderfully."

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Kimora Lee Simmons is a GREAT father

We all know this lady is a dude...but I think we can all learn from Kimora. It is never too young to teach your kids Streetwalker Basics 101...and it's never too young for you to pimp them out for cash. Kimora is giving her kids essential life skills baby.

Mattel continues to extend its empire

I guess making Barbies isn't enough for Mattel....they seem to own the entire hair-extension industry as well. Honestly. They gotta stop outsourcing this kinda stuff to obscure sweatshops though. My Ken with with hard painted-on hair looks hotter than this!

Hello Liv

I'm feelin' the love at this Free Arts NYC Auction.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

The Photoshop Awards Go to....

Marie Clare...for Julia Stiles. Julia is normally unusual-looking in an....unusual way. I don't think Marie Clare likes the unusual somehow. I don't even think they like Stiles for the matter.

Hugh Jackman's wife likes it a bit rough around the edges

Hugh Jackman has said that his wife Deborra likes him to wear his Wolverine suit during sex ...or something. Everyone's always mean to Deborra because she's old and quite possibly not as attractive as Hugh...and she sometimes looks like his mother...but I like her...and the fact that she manages to have sex with Wolverine most nights...well that's more than I can say about my own situation.

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Queen Cate

No snark. No snark. No snark. Not possible.

Sunday, May 21, 2006

Hot Hair Tips from Mariah and Tara

This stuff rocks!!! These women are such natural beauties it is of course inevitable that this gorgeous non-plastic approach would translate directly onto their hair.

I've fallen in love

I'll be out of town tomorrow. But I leave you with Coco...and I believe that should be enough.

A bit of vintage Maniston

to put your weekend onto a good start!

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Thursday, May 18, 2006

Demi Moore is an actress?

Demi Moore is going to play Coco Chanel in some biopic about Chanel's life. Seriously...apart from Ghost, Striptease, Willis and Kutsher...why is Demi famous again? I think I missed something. This movie is going to suck but at least Poutley Shiteley isn't involved for once. I think Demi would be better suited to playing Lagerfreak instead...or maybe I'll leave that to Lohan.

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thanks niolk for the 'shiteley' inspiration

Paris Grey?

I find it funny that one paid to look like that while another paid to change it all.

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You just haven't earned it yet baby

I've warmed to Xtina...I really have...but um...this isn't working for me...when will they all realise that peroxide and breasts do not maketh Monroe? I guess I should be thankful that Jessica Simpson isn't giving it a go....yet.

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thanks to jancollector from SFF

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Surely Daddy could have gotten a rent-a-crowd together? the quality of them isn't that great...but that doesn't stop me from seeing the love, from seeing the beauty, and seeing the absolute togetherness of this wonderful couple. Anyway...who wants to see either of these two in HQs anyway? It's just a pity noone turned up to this mess...I guess even C-list celebrities have standards.

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Oh...and I don't know about you...but for me, a wedding isn't a wedding until the bride and groom undertake an aqua-interpretive-dance-version of the hokey pokey.

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Courtney Love is a well-heeled woman

There's nothing like the timeless beauty, elegance, and grace of Courtney Love to perk up your Wednesday.

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The Boring and the Beatle

So Nicole Kidman is officially why can't this woman find a heterosexual man? engaged...and Paul and Heather have busted up. Consider me completely and utterly elated and distraught respectively.

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Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Pete Doherty continues being artistic

Pete a true genius. The latest proof of this is way he squirted a syringe full of his own blood at the cameras during an interview. When he hit the camera lens he shouted:

"That was a wicked shot. That's going to make a cracking link that is."

I don't even know what the hell he's talking about...but he's on such a higher intellectual level than I am, I wouldn't expect to understand all that he utters.

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Jackie Chan is the father of Katie Holmes' baby!!!

Image Hosted by ImageShack.usTom Cruise and Jackie Chan has some definite shenanigans going on. Tom recently gave the Jackie Chan foundation $20,000...after (from what I can piece together) Jackie gave Tom some coats.

Now...either this is payment for some kind of behind-the-scenes service that Jackie rendered Tom...or Jackie's starting to see aliens as well. Either way...this isn't good. Whatever it is...I'm convinced Chan = Suri's father. Mystery solved.

thanks to the hot AntonioH for this piece of news

Uri still has cash

Uri Gellar is such a pathetic, insane fraud...but somehow the guy still has enough money to buy Elvis Presley's old house for almost $1million bucks. In typical Uri-style he goes on:

"As bidding closed, I texted (my business partner) and it was 11 on my mobile and the radio started playing Elvis...That was Elvis telling me we got the house!"

Well Uri...I don't know what Elvis is telling you...but I know something is telling me that I've goto drop this blog business and move into the psychic-sham business.

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Daniel Craig continues to struggle with it all

Image Hosted by ImageShack.usI starting to feel sorry for Daniel Craig. First of all...I'd just like to point out that I struggle to get his name right...every.single.time. It's just not coming to me. Two first names just doesn't work for me. The guy has been struggling on this whole Bond thing. No-one really cares about him, he doesn't know how to drive a manual, he didn't know how to play poker...and now if you'll excuse my terrible word-play, it turns out there was worry about him being a porker. Daniel Craig should totally play the next batman...that's my tip of the day.

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Monday, May 15, 2006

Mischa Barton is Tom's next victim I don't have anything to go on other than her coked out zombie-fied eyes. Much has been founded on a lot less. Let's just say I'm quietly confident about this one. Let's also just quietly say that I have no news to report.

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Jordan...what are you doing?

I don't know what's going Jordan trying to be elegant? I have a feeling she's trying to go for the Cindy Crawford circa 1980 with a dash of Jackie O and a pinch of Ru Paul for good measure. Jordan...umm..I know you're trying to impress the American O.K! magazine readers...but what about your devoted fans? You've seriously got to cut that out and return to this...asap. The only thing this look get you into is Gwyneth's parties...and trust me, her parties suck.

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Paris Hilton greets your working week

...and what a vision she is...

Posh totally reads my crap

She says:
"I just love Kate Moss, she's my fashion idol without a shadow of a doubt. I'm a big fan of hers. I've always thought she looked fantastic."

Posh..I saw right through your wardrobe change-up over a week ago. I guess noone was picking up on it so you had to give out your super 'subtle' hints.

Saturday, May 13, 2006

The epitome of truth, beauty, and love

Peter Andre has a look of disinterested terror in his if that's not a marriage to aspire to...then I don't know what is. Although Andre looks like he's pining for Cruise to come back to know Jordan wishes you a gropingly awesome weekend.

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thanks to the insanely handsome justinr for the pic!

Honestly...what is this?

I love this's truly something else. The thing about Fergie is that she always looks so natural and beautiful. Whether she's wearing her gorgeous BEP gettups, or Aunt Sally's combi-van curtains...she always manages to standout from the crowd. Fergie always manages to take me on a journey..............who cares if it's only to the bathroom? That doesn't lessen her impact at all. If you want to experience something truly yourself the favour of a lifetime and listen to her sing 'Sweet Child of Mine'

'Glue' you can see is Hotness

Wow...I'm so out of the chic-loop these many things to keep up to date with. There's the geri-chic...and now Tyra Banks is making me realise that it's cool to have visible wig-glue on your least I hope that's glue, and not something else that I'm out of the loop with.

Friday, May 12, 2006

Umm...would you let this man anywhere near YOUR kids?

I don't have kids...but I wouldn't even let this guy near my imaginary kids.