Speaking of awkward

how awkward are these 'couples' at the White House Corresspondent's Party.

You've got Bon Jovi and ummmm.



Cokey and Coke-ier



and Cruise with his blow up giant doll.



Now all we need is Obama to turn scientologist and we'll really have hit the jackp0t :)

Hmm. Maybe there IS a case for getting bought and lobotomised by Tom Cruise afterall

After all is said and done...there WAS an improvement. Well...Kinda Sorta.

KAte's got some more plastic in there

...in the form of extensions.
She's looking a little mannish these days -- but much better.



Before.

Girlfriend isn't looking so peachy

...she's also dressing to communicate silent messages to us. Let's face it, she wants to be saved.

The blood that Tom has sucked out of her is beautifully represented by the blood dripping down her top -- the beautiful fake-hair worms at the back of her head are analagous to what's happening inside her brain, the green expanse shows her life from here until eternity in spectacular technicolour. The blue sash -- I leave up to my beautiful commenters --.

The Kate does Miu Miu

...and looks less awful than usual. Miu Miu does have a habit of photoshopping their 'actresses' to death. Think Lindsay Lohan's stint in 2007... still - girlfriend does a good job of channelling her FABFF [fellow alien best friend forever] - Posh Spice.

*snore*

Girlfriend wants to be the next Jackie O...or at least someone does. Tommy?

WTF is continuing to happen to Katie Holmes?

GF looks beat down. And by beat down I mean with the Sally-Field stick. Just.sad.

Someone give Katie a nap

Oh dear..that magic has well and truly brushed off. TomKat are at the MTV award. He - looking like that creppy ever-bachelor uncle...she looking like she needs to be taken to the computer lab and given a new motherboard.

Met Costume Gala

We all know every man and his dog loves to go to this thing...the theme this year was “Superheroes: Fashion and Fantasy”...uhhh...call me old fashioned - but aren't you supposed to incorporate the theme into your style for the night?!?

We had had the nice-for-trying-but-not-quite right in Christina Ricci. It's sort of like pussycat dolls meets Gwyneth Paltrow...and anything reminding me of Gwyneth Paltrow always makes me want to lie down and die.


The I'm-just-taking-the-fantasy-part-of-the-theme-
and-pretend-that-a-shapeless-sack-with-beaded-vomit-
is-like....super! Mischa.



A freak show involving geriatric WonderWoman and her dwarf-friend



And the cardboard cutouts that are Gisele and Dexter Tom Brady.

Does every (ex) spouse of Tom Cruise end up having weird pregnancies?

*update* o.k. guys, I can confirm that girlfriend is 6-7 months pregnant, as per this article.

First it was Katie with the mysterious bump that kept shifting around. Now it's Nicole with a pretty non-existent one. I think she's around 7-8 months along isn't she?

Katie's at it again

This is kind of getting funny. I don't want Katie to de-robotise!

This time its with InStyle.

This time she's talking about love:

"It happened in an instant. When you fall in love, it's like time stops."

I know Katie...brain transplants feel that way sometimes...so do UFO abductions while we're on the topic.

and the beautiful:

"I try every day to make Tom know how much I love him. It gets better and better.

...just as your interviewee skills get better and better Katie...brings a tear of joy to my eye.

"Tom and I stay in really good communication with each other. I talk to him about anything, at any time. He works 48 hours straight, comes home, and if I ask, 'Would you help me with this'? he'll do it."

...poor guy, working day in and day out at the Scientology Centre helping those damn clueless thetans how it's done...but Katie...what DO you talk about...other than Tom Cruise? Is the question you ask only "Would you help me talk about Tom Cruise, Tom?"

and the touching:

"I couldn't have asked for a more supportive human being.

I know...it's every girl's dream to have a man who can keep up the programming requirements so diligently! It must be tough making sure all those joints and electrical fuses are in order.

My money's on - pregnant -

...although...50year old women generally don't get pregnant. Conundrum.
Katie Holmes at the Costume Designers Guild Awards.

Over-Sculpt

I think sculpting with bronzer was popular in the 90s..and is still popular with some crowds (*cough JLo cough*)...especially around the nose area...but it's not foolin' anyone Katie. Michael Jackson anyone?
BTW...I'm diggin' the hair though.

Armageddon is Nigh!!!

OMG...I totally going to hide under my desk for a few weeks. The powers of Kabbalah and Scientology together...in one room...in one photo. In an epic war for world domination.
I'm surprised the camera didn't self-destruct.

Seriously. I have to lie down right now.

Check out the crazy woman on the far right (past Rosie)...she's a robot who's totally short-circuited from the stress.

Anyone feel like throwing up sugar?

Let's talk hems and babies and uh...being 'locked in' -- check out 1:39...freudian slip is ever I heard one...girlfriend is going to get smacks for that...I betcha.

I'm sure this is symbolic....

...but to me it's just.plain.creepy.

What in Xenu's name has happened to Katie Holmes?

or should I say, Katie Spice.