Sunday, July 31, 2005
Looks aside...her career also seems to heading in the I'm-now-over-40-years-old-my-career-is-dying-I'm-going-to-grab-whatever-informercial-I-can-before-I drown-into-oblivion...Jessica Simpson is set to release her own treadmill line after getting her body into shape for 'The Dukes of Hazzard'...as well as a workout video.
I'm guessing there is going to be a disclaimer along the lines of "this equipment should be used in conjunction with various surgeries to achieve 'desired' results"
So I guess when you are completley I-can't-even-get-myself-an-infomercial talentless...your only real viable option is to try to get the look of someone that was really talented...Tori is today attempting to channel Janis Joplin...and I'm sorry to say, that unfortunately she doesn't quite succeed, even at that.
Friday, July 29, 2005
She's left me here all alone...but you know what? She should be on this floor *hurl* too!!! I may have lost my shoes, my skirt, and my money...but never my dignity!!!!
Hang tight Paris!!! We're here at the ready to support you through all your harsh trials and tribulations. The bad times shall pass...in time.
On the subject of poor Paris, her is some faux google fun, thanks to sleazyred :)
Brad is apparently being introduced as "daddy" to Angelina's adopted daughter Zahara...and has already met Angelina's mother. I'm telling you...these guys are just 'friends'...
pic credit and thanks to roselle
Thursday, July 28, 2005
She's at the Robins Air Force Base, Georgia, for Dukes of Hazzard...and here she is looking, quite frankly, like she belongs, not in Georgia...but in Area 51...
How very domestic LiLo...
I can just imagine the never ending "nose-push-down-pout" expression that is going to drive me insane...it seems to be her 'convey any emotion' look. Does this drive anyone else nuts?
Anyone who was under the impression that she may allow Maddox to walk is obviously seriously mistaken...she really is WWoman.
I'm completely spent today...I haven't really been the same since I cut out my recreational drugs, on Tom Cruise's advice. Those vitamins he gave me certainly aren't giving my the kick I thought they would...and are ten times more expensive! :)
In any case...we should all be giving our thanks to the US Feds for saving this blog's existence! Apparently terrorists wanted to kill thousands by poisoning the US cocaine supply. As you can imagine...that would have cut our blog-victims to a very, very short list, namely...crack addicts. So...although Whitney's lost her chance to become a huge star again...I'm sure it's all been for the best.
Long live L.A!
Beware though gals!!!! Beckinsale..has prepared for the role of this caped damsel. She says: "I dressed up as her last Hallowe'en so it would be good to do it again." You gotta agree...that's pretty intense stuff ol' Kate is doing there...who knows how she does it?
Hey Kate, I put on red lipstick yesterday...I guess that makes me a shoe-in for the Marilyn Monroe story? Cool.
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
JFK once said something about quacks and ducks...it seems rather fitting here in this post...in more ways than one...
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
By the way...if I read one more headline where the writer tries to 'cleverly' integrate "bloom" into it...I'm going to check myself into a clinic for exhaustion...and proceed to have a dramatic nervous breakdown...in which I end up on the floor in a foetal position.
All I can say...is that when even Lindsay Lohan doesn't let you into her party...you know you've hit the bottom of the food-chain.
Monday, July 25, 2005
I'm assuming odd looking, plastic surgery-ridden, rather grotesque heterosexual couples of predominantly reality-tv fame have been deemed appropriate ambassadors to the gay community...
In any case...although she's around 20 years older than her, she looks a damn sight better than the
blatant publicity whore "cycling enthusiast" that popped down to France to catch the action....
My name's Kimberly Stewart and I'm Rod Stewart's daughter. My daddy was like a big rock star like...years ago...which is why I like to have bad mullet-esque hair today...you know...I like to channel vibes like that *giggles*. People always ask me if I'm the secret love-child of Kathy Hilton and Ozzy Osbourne and I always like freak out...because like I mean the connections are undeniable...O.K like...they both have reality TV shows and like...I like almost did too!!! Also one is seriously brain-damaged and the other has no personality...and I've like...got both! I mean...isn't that eerie? I know!
People always ask me why I'm so famous and I've got to say...it's in the poses you make and the relationship you build with the paparazzi. Like...I never like to stand out or call attention to myself or anything like that...I'm the most modest girl you'll ever meet...In fact...I always pose next to something infinitely more attractive than me. Always.
c'mon...she was asking for this one.
- Most girls have been creeped out at one point or anther by a weirdo leerer...you know...that guy that looks as if he wishes it was a little darker, and less people around...
- The majority of the population have had a quiet chuckle at the guy (usually over 60) at the station with the socks and flip-flops affair and;
- Some girls may at one point in time been laughed at by someone due to the size of her posterior.
My; rather rhetorical, question is...who marries and falls pregnant to a man with all these three qualities?
Sunday, July 24, 2005
However, I can't see much else going for him in terms of a long-term singing career. Russell Crowe has decided to leave his band; 30 Odd Foot of Grunt, to go solo a la Robbie Williams. The 41-year-old played songs from his new album, My Hand My Heart, to
Personally...Russ...my tip is for you to just move straight onto the reality TV show...that's your eventual goal anyway...right?
NYMetro is running this as their cover...I think it captures this US summer pretty well...
Friday, July 22, 2005
This is a children's chair that was delivered to Affleck's house yesterday...What is going on here? My only explanation is that Affleck-ology (with a current member population of 1)is desperate to enlist a new helpless, innocent devotee.
Ben...you've officially moved into Cruise-esque creepy status.
p.s. yes...I know that I've now mentioned 'Lil Kim twice in two continuous posts...but she's in jail, she can't hurt me :)
For those of you who were curious as to what his sex-tape partner looks like...here she is. The fact that he has to get an imitation of Lil' Kim (when we know the original isn't exactly hard to get) I think aptly demonstrates exactly how eligible he is...
Lindsay is apparently dating 'producer' of the Lingerie Bowl (yup...that involves scantily clad models doing their own version of the Superbowl) Mitch Mortaza. Well...can you blame her for the attraction? This man; you have to admit, has as much sex-appeal as spray on tan. Hot!
Rose McGowan; yes...wearer of that dress, also not wanting to miss out on the old guy action (I'm guessing lack of action) is dating Al Pacino...who is only 34 years her senior...I'm guessing Pfizer is very, very, happy with this turn of events.