Oscar Extras

Wow, I think all those trips to Venus have stopped him from ageing...maybe he should pass the secret onto Suzanne Somers...



I remember her in her heydey when she was trying to sell me execise equipment on infomercials...but on a more positive note don't those flowers and purple feathers look real?



Who on earth looks thin in white? Vicki Beckham...that's who! Well...we're not so sure about the 'on Earth' part...

Girlfriend puts the man in woman

Umm...not even going there.

Oscars Low Down

The only winner I really cared about was Helen Mirren. At the event, let's see. We had the usual good in

Cate Blanchett



Liv Tyler


Newly skinny and single Reese



The very pleasant surprises in:

Poster Child for Scientology Mrs Katie Cruise



The I-don't-care-what-you-wear-or-what-you-look-like-I'll-always -love-you in Kate Winslet

The I've-got-a-horrifically-huge-bow-on-the-front-of-my dress-but-maybe-of-I-smile-and-cover-it-up-Anna-Wintour-won't-devour-me


The I've-been-dumped-but-goddamn-it, I'm-going-to-make-use-of-my-wedding-dress-anyway Cameron Diaz


Got Drugs? Natalie Portman


The I'm-a-real-supermodel-so-I-never-get-that-post-pregnancy-fat-look Linda Evangelista


The I'm-only-getting-away-with-this-dress-because-I'm-tall-thin-botoxed-and blonde.


The I'm-relatively-young-but-through-incredible-skill-and-perseverance-I-manage-to-look-old-dumpy-and-dowdy-all-at-one-time Kiki Dunst

It doesn't take talent to get published in the NYTimes

...you just need to be one half of a billion-dollar empire.
That being said, MKOlsen writes on of the most riveting articles about a bag that I've ever read. I'm not sure how she succinctly manages to get all those complex and interrelated ideas in a tightly structured paragraph, but somehow, she succeeds:

I have a large, red quilted Chanel bag that I borrowed from my sister Ashley. I wore it to an event and never gave it back. Luckily, she's moved on to another bag, so I'm safe for now. I'm not quite sure how many bags I have, but let's just say I have a few. When I find a bag I like, I tend to wear it to death until I become obsessed with another one. This probably happens three to five times a year. But I always come back to the Chanel. The size isn't overwhelming, and it has enough subtle detail to keep it interesting. I also have the smaller version in blue and in white, but the red is definitely my favorite. I don't have a stylist — I'd rather just do my own thing and put together my own outfits. The chain-handle bag is the perfect accent to almost any combination I come up with. I look at everything with a designer's eye, but I wouldn't change a thing about this bag. I think that's why it's a true classic.

Zahara and Shiloh showdown

Is it just me of does (age aside) Zahara look like she could easily outwit little Shiloh?

I don't think rehab is going to cut it.

...I'm thinking more along the lines of some kind of anti-psychotic drug. Prolixin anyone?

Chicks with dicks...who probably don't have dicks. Edition 1

Uh...I think I missed the hair trend-memo

I'm sure it's somewhere with my Rosemary's Baby is hot again memo.

Well, twice unlucky I say

The first time didn't work for me...it was in the days of much too heavy photoshopping (have we ever left?)...the second time, well, let's just say things haven't improved over time...and what's with the canyon-spaced cleavage and the zombie hair?

10 years ago


Today...

J-Lo's 'Como Ama Una Mujer' Album Photo Shoot

UMM...shouldn't this be renamed "Como ama Un Hombre"?...or "Como ama a Bejewelled Alien"? because frankly, I'm not getting any "mujer" vibes here...

Umm...I'm hoping this has been scripted...seriously

from the Aussie TV show CNNNN

Rounding up all men!

Someone's developed a cool new blow-up doll. Very life-like, albeit a little plasticky around the breasts and face. I've even heard it talks, albeit non-sensical rubbish. Comes with a 'sister' model...but that's still under development. You can inflate the size of her breasts and lips at will too! How's that for fun. Guaranteed a good time.

For sales please contact Papa Joe - rates are negotiable.

Paris has a make-up malfunction

Listen, we all know that 'something' happened in the limo or the toilet just before she stepped onto the carpet...but I feel like I might just catch herpes just talking about it...so I'll call it a malfunction.

Click to enlarge...

Tara Reid has become boring again

I'll be honest, when I think of Tara Reid in a bikini I think of breasts touching knees and stomach that's churned...on the outside

...so why is she all of a sudden looking like this? Who paid more that $500 and a blowjob for her fix-up surgery this time?

They just want to dig right on into that placenta!

Scientologists and unborn babies just.don't.mix.

Britney is a hard-core publicity whore mother

She is so boring. Woman's got headlice. She ain't no GI Jane, that's for sure.
Oh, and you can buy the hair for $1million dollars on eBay...seriously.
I'm totally going to win this one. Yes please!



She totally should have stopped at this point IMO




Uh, I don't mean to be crude, but she now looks like she'd willingly rape someone with a broomstick...and that makes me feel a little ill.

Happy Valentines Day Fuggie

Listen, as it's Valentine's Day I'm totally not going to mention the word tranvestite o.k.? I'm totally not. I'm not going to mention the fact that as a couple you're a tad mismatched. I wish you both very well in fact. Going.to.be.very.nice.

Slow (no) news day

Well, the tally for men claiming to be Danielynn Smith's father is up to 50,000.

Other than that, no news. I'd just like to take this chance though, to say that Michelle Willaims' subtle nose job is a fantastic piece of work. Forget Ashlee Simpson. I'm going for Williams' surgeon.

Before


After (at the Sari Gueron Fall 2007 fashion show)


Before

Excuse me while I go kill myself

Cameron Diaz was paid $3 million DOLLARS to appear in this mess. My only consolation is that the money didn't go to Gwhineth Paltry...but still. There is something seriously wrong with the world. Why aren't there any random, rich Japanese companies interested in my blog, for example.

People continue to scare me

Ashlee Simpson at the Grammys. Has she had more work done? She's looking more 'special' than her sister nowadays...if that's even possible.



My always realiable and beautiful Tara

and Denise Richards. Totally no comment. NSFW