Heather lands on several more landmines

You've got to kind of love the U.K press. They're simply vicious. I bet you that Heather would have been "Aniston-ified" by the U.S press had her and Paul been American...I mean, Aniston has all her limbs, doesn't do much for charity and everyone still thinks she's an angel. But alas, Heather is from the U.K...and so while things were kept quiet while she was married to Paul...the honeymoon is all over now. First came the (rather boring) pornographic German picture book...and now comes the bizarre story that she was in fact "a high-priced call girl who took part in orgies with rich Arabs." Apparently,

" arms dealer Adnan Khashoggi paid her more than $11,000 to have sex — and that a Saudi prince shelled out $9,000-plus to join in a three-way with another woman."

...c'mon...even if it's true, even I'm finding that cruel...woman's got kid for goodness sake.

Sometimes I find there is so much beauty in the world...

my breast implants heart just wants to burst.

Fugie and Nikki Hilton

J-Lo and Marcorexic

Pammy chucking a Braxton

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Britney's all over the shop

The girl is losing the plot. She's going nuttier than Courtney Love, but doesn't have the heroin addiction as an excuse. I haven't seen the full interview (see teaser trailer here) but it looks like she just cried through the whole thing. I understand that she's pregnant and all...but why give an interview where you look like hell and sob about nonsense that people are going to laugh at you for? Seriously, I can't see any other solution than for Britney to go to her local Scientology Centre to purge all those damn thetans!

When talking about the baby-in-her-lap-while-driving-fiasco she said:

"I can't go anywhere without someone judging me. I did it with my dad. I'd just sit on his lap and I'd drive. We're country."

Great to know that Mr Spears is a child safety afficionado.
I think Joe Simpson does that kind of country thing with Jessica still...o.k. o.k. that was below the belt.

Older but still hella cool

They make all the Duffs, Simpsons, and Lilos look like hungry Lemmings.

Shirley Manson (photos a couple of days old)

and my girl Gwen Stefani with Kingston

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Queen's Birthday

It's a public holiday...what with the Queen's Birthday and all...so I'm taking a break for the day. I could be vaguely witty and place up a picture of a latent homosexual man...but the Hollywood selection to choose from is too great. So instead I'll leave you with some vintage Ashlee Simpson and some new Ashlee Simpson. For a second there I was worried that my Fuglee had somehow unfugged herself...but it's o.k...because our girl she's still a hot mess...now she's just a botoxed, restyline-d and rhinoplasty-ed hot mess.

(Phillip is surely her inspiration...I'm sure her chin dislodges just like that...)

Kate Moss wishes you an uber cool weekend

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The photoshop world is a kind, kind world

Personally, I think the first pic has endured a round of Photoshop already while the second has been through about 5 more rounds...I mean c'mon, we all know what Britney really looks like without photoshop...

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I'm sensing the world is going to get sick of Shiloh very very soon

Zahara is a supermodel though...

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Linda Evangelista pushes the boundaries for thin people

Ususally very thin people can wear crazy-oversized things and still manage to look thin...a luxury unfortunately, not quite reciprocated for fat people...but Linda hasn't quite managed it today. In any case...the girl's face still looks fabulous...and makes me yearn for a time when supermodels ruled instead of the half-baked, vapid, and talentless 'actresses' of today.

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Fug Overload

Since starting this blog I have developed a certain immunity towards grossness and fug...but seriously...sometimes the battle to retain my mental health is very.very.hard. This Paris, Messica, and Hatchetface trifecta are trying to bring me down.

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I'll take my chances with the one in blue

I can probably tell you who Claudia Schiffer is...but I wouldn't be able to tell you where any of this super-beauty is. Woman is blue on the other hand, is hella hot.

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Kelly Osbourne replaces Liz Hurley???

This can't be right. Apparently UK's Project Runway (Project Catwalk) has dumped Liz Hurley as host for the second season in favour of Kelly Osbourne. ?!? Apparently Liz is too wooden. That may well be the case, but Liz sure isn't the only supermodel to have come out of the UK. This is like getting a little mad at Joaquin at for not taking out the trash...and in response, leaving him in favour of Pete Doherty.

Marcia Marcia Marcia

I know she looks a little freaky and perhaps a tad odd...but I'm going to give her a break...because to be honest with you...when I start approaching 50 like Marcia is, I wouldn't mind looking like the ol' Cross.

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Brangelina are happy campers

I don't know how long Brad is going to keep up with this...I'm guessing until the shagging stops...in any case...they look quite happy...quite good-looking...and quite mesmerised by the $1 Namibia candle that the crazy I'm sure she's actually quite important mystic is brandishing about.

Sean Federline Grieves

...I know how you feel buddy. Hang in there...only about another 14 years to go before you can develop a serious drug problem that will take all those worries away baby...

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No surprises here...

This kiddie is cute. There's a bit of a drama happening in the photo media camps since US People Magazine and UK Hello! just paid over $4 million dollas for the exclusive rights to the photos...but as you can see...somewhere along the way there was a bit of a leak...

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Heidi Klum is a serious whore

Honestly...it's one thing to ride around all over town giving and receiving STDs...but it's another to whore yourself out to the devil...and I'm not talking Cruise. Heidi is stooping even lower than Holmbie...because I think we've all established by now that Holmbie is on serious diet of tranquilisers. This woman has children for goodness sake.

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Maniston hits Sydney

My goodness...as if my life needed any more complications. Maniston is in town for her Breakup flick...and just after we got rid of Messica and Fuglee Simpson! I think Maniston knows about me though...she was trying to be very inconspicuous what with hiding behind her hair the whole night and all...but.I.still.see.you.

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Jessica Simpson is fun and fancy free

Bolt-on breasts....check.
Hard plastic hair from her 10th grade prom... check.
Random doilies meshed together to make a Joe-approved dress...check.

Showing off her rather extensive skill-set to the public...check...

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The World Hasn't Ended....yet.

Today is the 06/06/06...and that's supposed to be bad...or something very well thought out like that. In any case...I haven't yet encountered the antichrist Tom Cruise in the flesh today, so consider me happy. Instead, I leave you with a satanesque Scarlett...who might not take your soul, but may wish to borrow it...for a little while.

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