I think that may be Kate Hudson...I think I see her hair...

...I'm not sure...if she is here then she's been photoshopped out of oblivion. The rest of the shoot is very I wish I was a quirky young Vivienne Westwood, or in the very least a Gemma Ward, but umm, like, no matter how much tweed I chuck on I'm still like Godie Hawn's daughter.

(credit plus more pics)

I.really.hate.Giselle.

...honestly.

(credit)

Congratulations Mr and Mrs Rock.

C'mon girls...this is a sign for ALL of us to marry our K-Fed!!!!

Speechless

O.k..I realise that I'm about 2 weeks out of date with this...but this is the first time I've seen it...honestly...wtf is going on? Beyonce cannot dance if her life depended on it. This would have to be the funniest music video I've seen in a long time...almost as bad as Janet's...

Dean McDermott really really really screwed up

As we know the skeezebag left his wife of 13 years to marry his "soulmate" Tori...but now there's a twist...Tori's mum Candy has cut her off the inheritance...so instead of receiving a nice whack of the $600m fortune...she's only getting just over $250k! haha...omg this is just too good...seriously! Apparently the rift between Candy and Tori started when Tori thought her mum was stingy on her first wedding after only $1million dollars was shelled outfor it.

I think Dean might be going to get laser treatment on those "love" tatoos...I don't think they're laughing so hard anymore.

US Magazine has a lot of time...

Ever wondered what celebrity babies are going to look like when they get older? Nope...neither did I. Suri's not there on the list because I guess babies that don't exist can't really look like anything...good pick up there US Magazine! Play lameness here.

Vintage Paris

uhh...other than Fergie perhaps being cheated on...which doesn't interest me in the slightest, it's a slow news day...so what else is there to do but to give you Vintage Paris? Girl should have stopped at one nose job.

Playing in Paris

No snark. Maddox will totall come and stalk me down if talk trash about his mum :)

Jordache dumps Brittany Murphy

A wise choice in my opinion...but I think the horse is the only thing to have gone untouched...Hurley's bottom looks like a cartoon.

(credit)

Richie does a shoot for DeLuxe

I think girlfriend pulls it off.

(credit)

Posh and Becks have sex...?

Apparently they're going for their fourth kid, as Posh really wants to screw up a little girl. I don't believe this. Mr Beckham doesn't dig girls...or manly aliens either I'm guessing...definitely not a Medusa-alien with plastic snake extensions in any case.

(credit)

Nicole Richie is STILL alive!

Yes...she may have had a bit of a 'heat induced' dizzy spell at Kitson a few days ago...but the girl is back and filming her video for her...music. The girl totally doesn't not have a problem and is also totally not trying to look like Paris at ALL.

(credit)

Another attack of the creepy brow

Who the hell is this crazy photoshop guy that keeps on placing crazy eyebrows on his victims? Is this a new trend that I've missed? Is having a lone crazy eyebrow the new black?

(credit)

Jessica joins the Cult of Poutley

While her sister is busy trying to join the Cult of Richie...Jessica seems to be taking a turn for the worse with her new single cover. Taking a leaf out of the book of Poutley Shitely is much worse than fellating an icecream in my books.

Let's all cry with Paris

TMZ has interviewed Paris...if you can call telling her that she is an "oversized human condom" and "like a fart in a mitten" an interview. Girlfriend does her best to look sad, pouty and Britney-on-Lauer-esque, but it doesn't quite work for her. Even so, I still cried...profusely.

Botched up surgery on show...to make your weekend sweet

I love Tara Reid. I like her terrible boob job and her screwed up stomoach liposuction. I think she's moved up from making my day to making my life :)

(credit)

How beautiful...a Britney and Kev Duet...

the duets are coming guys...they're coming....Kevin says to USA Today:

"It's (one particular duet) not really a love song. It gives my point of view on how my family is and how tight my family is...People shouldn't believe what they're told about us. They should listen to what comes out of my mouth and what comes out of my wife's mouth."

Umm...no thanks mate.

Heath in the role for the Joker?

These casting guys are nuts. We've already got the perfect joker! It's going to be very interesting...a Joker that doesn't smile...wow...that's like...really deep. I couldn't have cast it better myself.

Let's all join the Cult of Richie

...I've heard it's better than Scientology in terms of publicity...also doesn't involve having to be locked up in security compounds mansions forging birth certificates and pretending to give birth. New recruit? Ashlee Simpson.

Nick Lachey trades up

I have no idea who this Vanessa M character is...and she appears to be channeling the girl from Smallville...but at least she's not fellating an icecream...so I'm hoping Nick's chosen an improved model.

(credit)

Nicole needs to calm down

I know having 10 calories every 3 days leaves you feeling a little down...but Nicole...here's a tip...the cat isn't food and you shouldn't really be tring to kill it before you buy it. Sometimes the shopkeepers get a little upset about stuff like that.

On another note...Paris Hilton II has released a single? Or at least a single cover...which hasn't been photoshopped at ALL. Everyone's eyes are bright white like that...seriously.

(credit)

Honestly...I'm a little scared right now

Jessica Simpson does a Hello! shoot.
I'm a little freaked out...o.k...a lot.

If it's got two legs...then it's a go-er for Paris

Paris and Brandon Davis (firecrotch guy)are publicity whoring themselves out...so predictable. Look how they totally don't notice the that they're being photographed.
I guess he has a penis though...and that obviously counts for something in Paris' eyes.
I'd watch out because between them both they could create the most virulent STD this world has ever seen.

I'm back :)

Hi Guys,
I'm back. My computer is not 100% but I've battled with it for a couple of days to get to this point.
Thanks for your patience.

Honestly...what the hell is this?
I'm so glad I haven't seen Jessica Simpson's new video. I'm sure Papa Joe watches before going to bed every night.
love,
elisa.

(click below)

(credit)

Computer = Nuts

Hey guys,
sorry, my computer isn't letting me upload anything...very annoying.
I'll try to sort this out as soon as I can...if anyone knows of a virus going around that attacks mypictures (i.e. doesn't let you see all of them) and slows your computer to buggery, let me know.
love,
elisa.

Sunday Book Review: North of Sunset by Henry Baum

Scene One. Hollywood. The place where the ‘movie star feels better than the sit-com star who feels better than the porn star who feels better than the street whore who feels better than the crack whore who feels better when she’s high’.

Michael Sennet is an actor. In Hollywood, he’s a god. Michael thrives in a world where love, books, and art are an Atlantis only occasionally alluded to in the form of props and scripts

Michael's bored of juggling a Jolie-esque wife, plenty of girls on the side, and his neurotic friend Marty-fucking-Goldfarb. Meanwhile, Kurt aka the Vanity Plate Killer is out improving the world murdering people who are unlucky enough to have their vanity plates catch his eye.

Kurt's physchopathic. Michael's psychopathically bored...that is, until he realises that pretending to be a killer and murdering people isn't so boring.

It's a super-fast read. It's entertaining...it's very L.A. It's been written by one of our fellow commenters; Henry Baum.


(for all you cynics...no, I have not/will not receive any benefit from the sales of this book...promise)

Tara's a hot model

Honestly...she should really try to go professional. Super sag is hotness.

(credit)

She's no Vodianova

I don't know why Hilary Swank is an 'it' girl all of a sudden. I know she broke up with Chad Lowe and all because she "didn't know" about his substance abuse problem...but who the hell knew who Chad was anyway? In any case...here are some old shots of her in Calvin Klein (thanks WWJDD)...and it's not great...but it's a damn sight better than her pretty poor Guerlain performance.

(credit)

Heidi Klum is knocked up...and continues to look good

Hey guys,
sorry, been partying too hard this week :)Forgive me if some of the stuff is a few days old.

...honestly...I'm not the biggest Klum fan...but the woman looks good knocked up.

(credit)

Christina Spear-ises.

Well..she was blonde and bubbly once. Britney got more attention. She was dirrty. Britney got more attention because she was clean-cut. She kissed Madonna once. Britney got more attention. She cleaned up. Britney continnues to get more attention because she's a lost dreg. I guess Christina figures if she can't beat her, she might as well join her.

(credit)

Kate Bosworth needs to calm down

This girl is just screaming to get into the magazines as the new anorexic on the block. I betcha that in n a few months time she's going to have a big Vanity Fair spread where she'll talk about work pressures etc....girl is holding onto this Lois Lane stroke of luck with two (bony) hands.

(credit)