Paris turns tricks

...yup...I don't want to know what's going on either.

LeeLee works a garbage bag

and while she may be too stoned to notice...I'm still sober. Somehow she kind of pulls it off...but in order for me to say so definitively...she'll have to share her stash.

This is much better than usual

This should happen more often. It's almost as entertaining as Miss South Carolina's brilliant answer from a few weeks ago.

Product Promotion on the Red carpet

I know the Emmy's are incredibly boring, but that's no excuse for trying to get free advertising for your new diamond crass-cara.

Pamela Anderson knows ROMANCE baby

Poor Pammy,

She's scraping the bottom of the barrel. Pammy said told Ellen that she had sex with a fellow poker player for $250,000 --> then fell in love with him.

"It worked out, I liked it. ... I paid off a poker debt with sexual favours and fell in love. It's so romantic," she told talk show host Ellen. The guy in question is rumoured to be Rick Salomon...yup...the same guy that features on Paris Hilton's porn tape.

It's JUST like Casa Blanca isn't it?

Remind me not to faint or pass out in Venezuela

A Venezuelan man who had been declared dead woke up in the morgue in excruciating pain after medical examiners began their autopsy.

Carlos Camejo, 33, was declared dead after a highway accident and taken to the morgue. The examiners began an autopsy only to realise something was amiss when he started bleeding. "I woke up because the pain was unbearable." Camejo said.

I don't really have a picture of this...but I've got something just as relevant.

The American Pie Curse

...we all know what happened to Tara Reid...but what the hell has happened to Natasha Lyonne? I know she almost died from a heroin overdose last year...and then threatened to sexually molest a dog...and to be honest, the girl still doesn't seem to have sorted all that out....

Before:



Now:

Oh my

I don't think Lisa Rinna got the memo. "If you've got it, flaunt it" simply does NOT apply to her. I almost feel like labelling it NSFW...but really, the picture below is NSFA(nyone).

Cate Blanchett shows us how it's done

You know I absolutely detest actors taking prime cover space from models...but when Cate does it...it somehow becomes o.k. Just. :)

LA Fashion Week kicks off

Thick or Thin...it all looks like a mess to me.

Extra Britney footage revealed!

O.k...so it's a little cheesy but it made me smile. Then again, I'm so tired I'm no quality judge right now. :)

Wow...I've seen bad

....but this was bad.
I thought there was some unwritten rule about how lip synching meant at least some good dancing.
The only thing 'coming back' during this opening VMA performance was my dinner.

Ugh...I've got another Gwhineth on my hands.

Just as Gwyneth Paltrow has ebbed in terms of interview air-time...another one has cropped up in her place. I said they were morphing into each other a few months ago...but geez...this is too much. It's Avril Lavigne in Q magazine.

On dealing with her success:
"Selling 24 million albums hasn't really affected me, but it has changed things. I can't walk into a room full of people any more without everybody turning their heads... But that's OK. I was born to do this, and so I've learned how to cope."

On her competition:
"Someone like Kelly Clarkson is beautiful and has a pretty voice, but with me you get a much stronger image. I'm tough, I have a look that girls want to copy, and I sound a particular way. It's good if you're not easily ignored. And I'm not."

Singing "Hey hey you you I could be your girlfriend" in the girls change rooms---ooooh Avril, that's tough! Not to mention painting skulls and cross bones on your nails...I've shivering in my boots right now.

On her generosity:
"I am a very giving person. When the hurricane thing happened, I went to my closet, filled six boxes of stuff and said to my assistant, 'Take it to Katrina!' I also like to give stuff to people who are my 'workers,' especially if they don't make much money."

Wow...I think a sainthood is in order...we need more people like Avril when those damn hurricane....things...happen.

and to top it off:

"... if you do hate me, you're the loser, not me."

hmm...very insightful stuff.

What Zahara wants...Zahara gets

Kids edition of a mum's Valentino bag? Done. Girlfriend doesn't mess around.

APEC Continues

Just dabbling a little into the real-world for a bit because the constant hum of the helicopters is driving me nuts. Basically, there are 21 world leaders here in Sydney for the APEC summit and things are a little crazy. The city is under its biggest security lockdown in all of its history. Half the city has been blocked off with concrete and fencing, and we're spending something to the tune of $30million dollars a day in security. There a snipers on key buildings' roofs and Friday was declared a public holiday.

Anyway...despite all of this...our famour comedians, the Chasers...managed to get 10m away from Bush's hotel with the dodgiest getup and the crappiest security passes. So much for security.

And for all this...Bush in his speech today...called us Austrians, called the summit OPEC, and got lost getting off the stage.



The fake security passes that worked.

Roadkill?

Girlfriend is looking beat down...and by beat down I actually mean streetwalker.

Ciao Pavarotti

Poor dear, he died yesterday from pancreatic cancer. He was my favourite tenor by far.

What he was famous for...

Elle magazine changes definitions

I thought reinvention (look at the magazine copy) meant creating something different. Obivously however, I've been mistaken all along. Reinvention simply means repeating the same look you've been going for your entire life.



"Reinvented look" vs "Look from months/years ago"




"Reinvented look" vs "Look from months/years ago"



Yeah...I'm seeing huge differences as well.

Britney works it...hard.

I still can't figure out why on earth she's bothering the the mirror...



this is in direct contract with girlfriend who is actually working it.

Photoshop Resurrection

Photoshop...it can sometimes make death look a little more like life.

TBLE readers called this LAST YEAR!!!

I knew it, you knew it...we all knew it, and now it's been confirmed.
Michelle and Heath have split up. I'm actually surprised they lasted this long. Let's hope Michelle finally came out of her hpynotised state and saw him for what he really was --> an arrogant sod.

For proof that you are very switched on readers (not that any proof is needed), have a look at your comments from last year.

Angie does it again

Every time I start to think that perhaps Angelina's beauty is a little overrated...girlfriend shows me how it's done...



Brad on the other hand...he ugh...needs some sleep.
Brangelina are in Venice.

Australia's not coping with Californication

Californication is making people uncomfortable...well...some anyway. I'm attributing it to the fact that George Bush is in the country for APEC...it's bound to make people a little nuts.

Australian Caththolic priest Fongemie is all in a tizzy about the show. He's been holding candlelight vigils outside the TV broadcaster's offices each night Californication has been on. The saddest part is...people are actually turning up. I don't exactly know what they're praying for...but I'm sure it's all very soul-saving.

Let's hope Father Fongemie has TiVo because due to the timing of his mass...he's missing all the juicy parts.