Victoria Silvstedt wishes you a bountiful weekend.

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Invites-person seriously didn't get the memo

I know I'm just a lowly blogger, never to reach the soaring intellectual heights that US Magazine achieves on a weekly basis...but...(and I'm sure this is just me) if you're going to call your event the US Hot Awards...umm, wouldn't it make sense to invite some people that are...hot?

We've got a trashed Paris...

Tori...

K-Osbourne

Duff's sister...

Honestly...this is getting ridiculous...who is she even? I'm invoking Xenu's protection for this one.

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One can never be too rich or too...tanned?

Paris is quite obviously getting ready for the role of Magda in There's Something About Mary II...

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J-Lo sells herself to LUX in Japan

I seriously don't understand the point of paying celebrities millions of dollars in endorsement deals and then proceed to photoshop them out of existence. In J-Lo's case that's probably the best thing though. The Japanese seem to be feeling it anyway.

I don't quite understand the ad though...is it going for a "use LUX and you'll have men running away from you...with continual use the only person who'll take you will be a creepy, domineering manorexic" approach? Cool.

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Kimberly Stewart is my reject barbie

I don't quite know why Kimbo doesn't work. She's got lovely eyes, nice skin, she's tall....I don't know...it all kind of goes downhill after that. To go on a tangent of sorts, when I was little, I used to have a reject Barbie (usually a counterfeit given to me by a stingy family friend) who would never get Ken, always get cheated on, and always end up crying at the end of any dates...because she just wasn't hot enough to compete with Malibu Barbie. For me, Kimbo is that Barbie...her dicey quality of her plastic hair totally confirms it for me.

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Happy 21st Birthday Stavros

...let's hope they made beautiful sex tapes together.

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Truth, Beauty, Links, and Elisa

• Pete Doherty injects heroin into a passed-out girl's arm

*disturbing* (Dlisted)

• Brilliant Liza Minelli Video with Larry King (fourfour)

• Charlie Sheen disturbs me (Hollywood Rag)
  

Hasselhoff is a serious actor

I love it how crappy actors go to London and participate in obscure plays in order to try validate their existence as serious artistes. The Hoff is the latest one to go into theatre...he's not really trying to convince anyone that he's doing it for the art though. He's getting paid over half-a-million dollars to play some secondary character in some random production of Peter Pan. Personally, I'm boycotting this play until the Hoff gets the recognition he deserves...the man has to play Peter!!!

Seriously...kill me now

I don't have many dislikes in the world...o.k. so maybe I do...but Keira Knightley is one of them. She just has this incredibly Paltrow-esque talent of getting into all these serious roles, completely and totally buggering them up...and somehow still get lauded for it. The girl is neither Winona nor Portman, her plastic surgeries have left her looking damn uncomfortable, and I just.can't.stand.her.pout.

You can therefore understand while I think she's mildly unqualified to:
a) be voted Sexiest Woman by FHM, and
b) be named to replace Kate Moss as the next face of Chanel's Mademoiselle Perfume.

Honestly...Li-Lo would have been preferred.

Sally Kirkland can still turn some hot tricks

For 23 years of my I had no idea who Sally Kirkland was. Thanks to an anon. commenter...I can truly say that my life is now complete.

Kate Moss Fix...

I'm sorry...but who else in the world can wear a weird diamante vest on top of some raggedy grey thing...and still manage to look unbelievable cool?

Hello Janice!

Janice Dickinson scares me so much that I think I'm starting to love her.

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Posh should stop giving it a go

Posh goes with Becks to the Ivy restaurant...to be seen of course...but ahh...I my personal advice to Posh is that she go into hiding. Only possessing the qualities of rich and thin doth not good photos make. She makes her falling-into-the-bush bodyguard look hot.

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Truth, Beauty, Links, and Elisa

• Angelina and Brad play beautiful, happy families (Dlisted)

• Oh man...this is going to suck more than the first one (Smart)

• Britney is knocked up again...we think (The Velvet Hot Tub)
  

Robin Williams' son was a "Stupid Girls" extra?

I'm not one for speaking badly of kids...but personally...I'm seriously concerned about Williams' son's skin colour.

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What a night!!!

Wow, the opening Rande Gerber's Cherry Nightclub in Las Vegas looks almost as fascinating as K-Feds CD party. We've got Cindy, who still looks hot...but she doesn't count because as Rande's wife she's a mandatory. So that leaves the rest of the hot guest-list as: my new favourite Rim-ma....and Crazy Heche... Rim-ma, in an attempt to get people to stop talking about her lips...shows us her really bad breast-implants...while Heche...well, she was just trying to figure out where the hell she was...and what was going on.

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I love my Felicity

O.k...so the wardrobe is higly questionable...and my love is entirely conditional upon her not joining Scientology...and her appearance in MI3 isn't enough to make me want to sit through Tom Cruise trying to be a heterosexual action hero...but I still think Keri Russel is a winner. Here she is in Rome doing publicity for the aforementioned clunker.

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Kirsten Dunst and Mary Kate Olsen Showdown

O.k...so maybe not quite a showdown...maybe more of a bitch-slap fight over a moth-eaten jumper at a random flea market...but still.

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Ex-Bachelor trades up

Remember Andrew Firestone in the Bachelor series? O.k...well, embarassingly enough, I do. Anyway, the guy still appears to be giving the C-List celebrity circuit a hard run...He's looking as skeezy as ever...but he does appear to have traded up from Jen, his "Bachelor" choice. Is it a slow news day? Yes.it.is.

Heath takes his 12-year old daughter out on the town

O.k...I can't really snark on Michelle actually. I think she's looking great.

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Kelly Osbourne is hotness

I don't know exactly what is going on here...but I'm assuming that poor Kelly is feeling just a tad under the weather (those damn 24hour viruses can be tough) and so she kindly enlisted Harry Houdini's great great grandson to make her disappear. Other than that or she was taken hostage by guy some random guy with freaky sleeves...oh well.

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Jordan is a serious writer

Book signing for "Jordan - A Whole New World" one day...the Pultizer Prize the next...I must admit that I do admire the fact that she still manages to look incredibly thin, even with those mostrosities attached. Not quite Wharton-material...but admirable nonetheless.


Speaking of breasts...Kimberly Stewart appears to gotten a new bolt-on pair...again? I'm guessing we're going to be seeing a lot of these in the future. For reference, this is Kimberley earlier this year.

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Federline's "CD Listening Party" ROCKS!!!

Wow...what a night it must have been at the PURE nightclub. Look at the guest-list!!! Old Hilton's...and...ummm Federline giving his best impression of cracked-out Paul Rudd? I'm serious...It doesn't even look like his wife came.



Still...the enourmous rent-a crowd looked excited-as. Eminem better WATCH OUT...this is what Kevin was obviously born to do.

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Hillary Swank looks good

What's happening to me? First Christina Aguilera...now Hillary Swank? Why is my fugly contingent suddenly diminishing? Please don't tell me pretty is the new fugly.

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OMG...you've got to be kidding me.

O.k, so I'm just a lowly marketing major...but I thought the purpose of advertising was to try to trigger a want within people to actually buy the product. To be honest with you..Mariah looks like she was holding some "else" ...and the Pesi bottle was (clumsily) inserted afterwards. Even with extensive airbrushing the breasts continue to creep me out to no end...and the greying plastic hair? Something tells me I just may not be Pepsi's target audience.

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Dita Von Teese was everywhere this April

I'm not such a huge fan of the girl...but I suppose if we're going to get inundated by someone...I'd much rather it be her than 99% of the other candidates...so if Dita manages to somehow minimise the airtime of the Li-Los, Simpsons, Hiltons, Poutlys and Paltrys of the world...the I say...bring it on.

German Vogue - May


Her book launch in NY


Her book-signing in Piccadilly


Her latest booksigning at Harrods