If you get rejected by your Option A husband for a (albeit unstable) younger, beautiful, and more talented woman the best thing you can do for yourself is to talk about it at any opportunity you can, while also saying that you wish to maintain your privacy. Crying is a very desirable option...remember that most women will take your side because they don't really like younger, beautiful, and more talented women.
If you find yourself in these circumstances, you should immediately hook-up with some random unattractive man, in order to get some attention...so that you can then safely complain about the attention. This Option C man is basically so happy to get laid, he will not care that you're always whingeing, talking, or alluding about you ex-husband and his woman whenever you get the chance. He may even comfort you. The fringe benefit of this is that he can even start to complain about media attention as well.
It is in this period that you must begin your transformation....remember the rules....sinew and bone....sinew and skin...if you can't visibly see the outline of the muscles in your arm...you are not yet ready to move on 'up the bridge' to an Option B man.
thanks Justin Raethel for the pic!
16 comments:
*gag* Oh, that is just NASTY!
*When* did we decide that this is beautiful?
Whatever happened to eating a carton of ice cream when you get rejected? Did someone change the rules to having to emaciate yourself until a holocaust victim looks healthier than you?
Well, apparently Angelina is going through similar issues, because if there ever was an emaciated-looking chick, it's her.
Someone please, please, PLEASE put Jennifer out of our misery?
I woke up to her crazed giggling on Good Morning America as she clumsily avoided answering any questions about her relationship with Vince. I don't get why she wouldn't prepare herself with a calm, matter-of-fact stock answer for this press junket - surely she realized it would come up? She must think the giggling and awkwardness are cute. They're not!
haha...I didn't know G4G was Justin :)
Yeah...Jennifer is held up as a healthy woman...and the fact is she's thinner than Lindsay and Paris...
much love,
elisa.
elisa...oh my God...i swear i knew you were talking about jennifer anniston the second i started to read the post. i actually use to really like her until she became a walking contradiction. "oh...i don't like to talk about my personal problems" and then she goes on every talk show and magazine and just blabs her mouth off. maybe that's how she got so skinny...by talking so much about her personal problems...she forgot to eat.
Puaj! Not even my dog would want to chew that arm...
Sad, sad Jennifer.
Man, now i even feel sad for her.
Quit slamming on Jennifer Aniston. She is one classy lady and is beautiful. Unfortunately, she also has a career in hollywood...so as unfortunate as it is...VERY THIN IS IN.
If you lost a marriage you would probably cry in the beginning too.
Be an adult and realise this. Oh wait...you're only 22...I forgot...you probably haven't had an adult relationship yet. Stick with slamming the little girls ala Lohan and Hilton.
Hey Ms Aniston :) Glad you could drop by.
Come on...anon1209, Jennifer Aniston is shamelessly using this breakup as publicity for her career...and apart from the fact that she seems to wear black and gray a lot of the time...I don't really see anything extraordinarily elegant about the girl.
hehe, I may only be 22, but I'm not falling for her 'please love me card'...that's what her Option C man is for :)
love,
elisa
I can't be the only one who genuinely finds Vince Vaugn attractive, can I? He's cute. I admit it. No, he's not what I'd call steamy and sexy (a la Joaquin), but he's cuddly and funny and he seems like he'd be a great guy to hang around with. His "relationship" with Jen A. aside, of course.
I used to think Vince was cute, but now next to Jennifer Aniston...what was I thinking?
Hey anon1209, E never said anything was wrong with crying over a failed marriage but please. I was surfing the gossip pages at work (yes, I was engrossed, trust me... spreadsheets were killing me. I want my guns back!!) and there it was: an article about Jen saying she wants to keep her private life private.
Here's a lit lightbulb because she obviously won't have one light up on her own. If you want your private life private... DON'T BECOME A CELEB. Wow. That was easy. But easy is not in their vocabulary unless it comes to sex (not that there's anything wrong with sex. I like sex. I just like my guns more).
She's just pissed that her husband left her for a younger, hotter, and more psychotic woman. That is the way man is. And we love them for it ;)
I did feel bad for her at first. He did do her wrong. But my GOD shut UP about it already!
Till then, we will exercise our God-given right to bash her all we want.
LONG LIVE ELISA!!!
Elisa,
I agree somewhat. I saw her on Larry King Live and she seems, well...whiney. She whines a lot and told Larry it was none of his business when asked about Vince Vaughn. LK referredd to VV as a "National Treasure" which I hope was sarcastic and if it was, that would be slightly insulting to JA and VV. I agree that she is handling this as well as she probably can, considering. But, to say she doesn't read or see the magazines and asks her friends not to tell her about it? Come on, Jen! how stupid do you think we are? You may not purchase them and read the articles, but you must know that we all know what you are doing in your private life, so don't act surprised when you are asked. And PREPARE something, I agree with Mrs Harridan. Most of the paparazzi pix of her show her staring at the camera, so she should just assume the public knows all. And she should tell interviewers that she is not going to discuss certain things...or something!
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