Thursday, November 10, 2005

Jessica Alba wishes to postpone her descent into hard-core porn

Jessica is confused as to why she always gets offered soft-porn roles disguised as blockbuster films. Personally, I think she should rephrase her own question into wondering how she gets any roles at all.

She says:

"The scripts I get are always for the whore, or the motorcycle chick in leather,
or the horny maid...I get all those screenplays that start, 'Tawnya is in the
shower. The water streams down her naked, perky breasts'...Somehow, I don't
think this is happening to Natalie Portman
."

I honestly cannot think as to why Jessica isn't getting serious roles...such a waste of amazing talent...perhaps she should form a "Just-because-plastic-surgery-has-made-me-look-like-an-alien-doesn't-mean-I'm-like...not-a-serious-actress" club making sure to invite Jessica Simpson.

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

It's very simple, Jessica. Have you ever, or will you ever see Natalie Portman in a picture like that, with an outfit like that? Slutty outfit + slutty pose = slutty roles.

Anonymous said...

Addendum: Unless you're Gwyneth, of course, in which the random slutty photo session just makes you look ridiculous and causes people to laugh at you.

Jack B. said...

Thats a horrible picture of her. The blonde look doesn't work at all. She was totally smoking in her Dark Angel days. Too bad she can't act her way out of a handbasket.

Jay said...

There's not a single hetersosexual man in the world who would deny Jessica Alba because of her looks.

Her voice, maybe.

Mrs. Harridan said...

Maybe it's because she played the good little girl who becomes a nasty (but still in need of a big strong hero) STRIPPER in her last film?

Love the bolt-on tits. That could be another reason why she's getting the "whore" scripts. There is little sense in complaining about that sort of attention when you have had surgery to ensure that it happens!

Elisita said...

haha...too true anon323...we're on the same wavelength!
hmmm...I thought she looked WORSE in her DarkAngel days....she looked more intellectually disabled then.
love,
elisa

william said...

ARGHH!! I hate ImageShack.

I want a full, high rez version of this on my hard drive. like really desperately....

Anonymous said...

Heh, i'll love to see the porn though.

Anonymous said...

Ooh Elisa...very well put! You're a bit snappy with our favourite (to hate) celebs this week. I love it! :D

Roberto Iza Valdes said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

You are so fine can I eat you